Just like my teenage diary…

It is a good thing that no one really follows my blog or comes by to check it… like ever. I think I wanted it that way. A digital diary. That no one knew about. If I had to just get some crap out about someone I wouldn’t have to worry about it popping up on a google search for their name. I guess that could still happen. But hopefully it would be on page 1367 of their search. The thing that took a full .7 seconds to find.

Anywho, also just like my teenage diary, I never seem to write in it. Once a year seems good enough to catch up on stuff. 

I think the best I ever did with keeping up with the daily whozits and whatzits back then was when I decided high school could be a soap opera. And preceded to write the story with pseudonyms of course. I think I kept at it for a week or so. Not sure where that is now… might need to find it before my nearly teenager finds out what mom was really up to in high school!

I find new apps they are like getting a  pretty new notebook or fancy pen. You think surely I will want to write out all my feelings using this **insert device here*** ! It will be so much easier and inspiring!

What is the truth? Everything requires work and discipline. Nothing truly gets easier. Because when we make one step easier we add another. 

Like remembering to save and post!

So here is to another week of trudging through the work. Following your internal discipline to get whatever done. And remembering to save it all somewhere.


You are right where God wants you…Or so I keep telling myself

I know it is true, but somedays it is really tough. When I look back on this time I will understand that I had to go through this part in order for me to get to that part, but it does not make it stink any less now.

So last week was a bit of a doozey for us. Really only 1 really bad thing happened to us (sort of 2, but technically one). So one Tuesday the hubs finally got the word from the boss about his job. His position was to be terminated at the end of the year. Sucks. But OK we have time. I was plotting scrimping through Christmas in preparation for being on 1 income come the beginning of 2014. To clarify, Hubs works for the Small Business Development Center. Funded partially by the university that “houses” them and partially by the State. The state is cutting things. The universities cut last year and we survived that. So on Tuesday we had several months notice for this inevitability. 

On Wednesday he worked in the neighboring metropolis at a “satellite office” All seemed fine.

On Thursday I got a fb message that said there had been a change and he was to be laid off effective the end of THIS month. less than 2 weeks away! Really??!!??

I have to hand it to my hubs though, we have lost several jobs through our 12 years together I think he is taking this one much better than all the others. Then again most of the other times it was “you are gone today”. That sounds like he is a horrible worker. On the contrary he is a very diligent worker. A little messy or disorganized appearing, but diligent and sure of himself. He always works with the customer in mind. That has often been the downfall of both of us… “screw the rules, let’s do what is right for the customer” This time I guess it is being easier cause He knows he is not getting blamed for anything that was not his deal and he was not blindsided. This stuff has been openly discussed that cuts are coming – who knows what – who knows if SBDC will even be here anymore, etc.

That and his boss has sort of received a demotion a well. THat makes a person feel better.

I on the other hand, as you might can tell by the tone, am NOT taking it so well. I think I subconciously did not seek out a babysitter Saturday so that we could both attend his secretary’s retirement celebration. I am just not sure how comfortable I would feel, when I just want to wring their necks or something. Why? because this opens back up the job search which means he is sending out resumes and activly seeking jobs in his hometown which is 2 hrs away from here. I want to move out of our crappy house – but not to another city! 

I have found several organizations that I like and am important in. the oldest daughter is just in 2nd grade and is forming those tight bonds with little boys and stuff, the youngest is at a fabulous daycare and I am friends with many of her teachers on fb. I have a rewarding albeit exhausting job that pays pretty well considering it is for a church. We own our house – it is a piece of crap now, but we own it.

I feel like I want to just be a toddler and lay down and throw a tantrum. but  I can’t. I am the mommy, I need to be supportive. So I think he has gotten the idea that I really do not want to move. He remembers a previous stipulation about must have a salary greater than our current combined salaries. That really would not be that hard given that he has been part time ( good rate though) and I work for a church. It has really got to be worth it to move. REALLY.

So now I sit back and ask myself “If I really am right where God wants me… Then what in the world am I supposed to be gaining here? who am I supposed to be helping?”

I have not come up with the answer yet – and probably will not until we come out on the other side and I can ponder things more.s So anyway whenever things get tough or crazy think your way through that one and see if you can figure out just what the point of this particular crisis is. I find it helps me focus on the things that do matter.

See you on the flip-side!

the 10 second decision leads to unexpected blessings

Isn’t it amazing when someone steps into your life and shares a thought, belief or encouragement with you at just a perfect time. Yeah that is God talking I am sure.
A friend of mine was reading something called either 10 seconds or 15 seconds – either way it was about those moments when the thought crosses your mind to say something to someone, call them, write a note, whatever – you know those moments. Generally we spend the time following that thought rolling it over and evaluating the possible repercussions or scanning our schedule to see when we can fit that in. And then before we know it the opportunity has passed, we have become involved in something else, and what needed to be shared was not. This book shares the belief that those moments are not just our brain over processing things – they are little nudges from the big man himself. If you are a scientist and want to explain the electrical impulses or thought patterns that these moments might “really” be then I submit that these programming errors were put there on purpose by our heavenly programmer.

I think about these things as I am just in the beginning throes of a very busy week. Today I had a wonderfully sweet lady (who probably always acts on her 10 second thoughts) ask for a hug before she left. From her I received a hug worthy of a mothers hug. She then went on to tell me how great I was doing and all that I was getting done and that I should not feel bad if things slip through the cracks, etc, etc. That was really great to hear


So yeah everybody should like everybody.
Everybody should respect everybody.
And you should give yourself a break when you have worked hard all day at work and at home to provide. Give yourself a break, you are doing wonderful things. Things that God has given you talents to do. So what if your talent is not being Martha Stewart/pinterest perfect. Try a recipe here and there and say “now wasn’t that different and fun” then go back to wieners for dinner – cause hey it works and you can get them fed, bathed and in bed close to on time with that.
You are awesome – cause God made you that way.

Blessings to you!

testing 1,2,

Testing out this new browser extension called justwriteblog Looks like it could work easy enough. Just wrote an awesome post but apparently did not set up the link to my blog before so i think I lost it.

Probably was a good thing cause I got on a bit of a rant about people maintaining appropriate online personas. I guess I expect, not for people to lie about themselves, but to at least always put their best foot forward. 
Enough said. I should stop now 🙂

So I am putting this shindig together – well me and a few of my cohorts. Silent auction items, music, food, friends, Oak Trees…What more could you want? We will accept plain donations as well. Sponsor levels at $250, $500, and $1000. Individual seats $50. Come and Join Us!

Natchitoches1714's Blog

Posted by Doyle Bailey for The Association for the Preservation of Historic Natchitoches (APHN)


Make your reservations today for a table for your Company, Family, friends group or Sunday School Class. Couples and individuals are invited. Surprise someone special with a special gift.This is an event no one will want to miss.

                                       Customer Service Information:
                                       email: info@aphnatchitoches.net
                                        Phone: 318-379-0055


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Thinking things through

So last week I guess I did not think much of anything through.

Monday I sat Mel down infront of the fridge while I went searching for one large homemade magnet that had fallen. I discovered a smaller round magnet that had been “lost” under the fridge and brought it out of hiding because you know that would not be a good thing… only here is the not thinking things through part. I replaced the small magnet on the fridge while I continued the eventually successful search for the larger magnet. then I forgot about it and set about the main reason I was in the kitchen anyway – to get dinner ready. You know what is coming don’t you? Yep a short cough cough gag gag and that little magnet was down in my baby’s tummy. I tried making her puke. nothing. I was beside myself. The lovely addition did not “resurface” until Sunday. Ugh.

In the meantime we had our first tee ball practice of the season. big shout to Coach Micah for turning Mere around to where she is excited about this and “coach Micah is counting on me”. Mother in Law’s birthday, pi day, but most importantly my sweet hubby’s birthday. And here I go again…

I am noted for forgeting his birthday. let me clarify I do not forget, I just do not realize that today is the day. It is like I have two halves of my brain. One that holds all the dates in numerical format only and the other that holds the calendar which is generally focused on the day of the week and the numbers of the weekend days. for some reason things don’t always make it on my calendar brain. But I did not forget! I had cards, we had piano recitals and family coming in to take the girls away, yet I still managed to screw with it. I had not signed the cards (we got them like 2 weeks before) so i forgot about them until the day after. I went in to work the day after to do a little bit of work and stayed like 4 hrs – not realizing that his car was at the church and he was stranded. I just came across in many different ways as completely inconsiderate. I really am not. I just don’t always think things through completely.

Well another milestone has come and gone and I goofed – again. maybe, hopefully I will give him a good birthday one day. And I will strive to think through things more. I hope.

Rainbows after the raindrops this week

You know sometimes it really takes a rain for one to find a rainbow. All science aside.

This week was a roller coaster. not as bad as some I suppose. that week with three church members passing in 7 days was rough. Yeah I have been away for far too long. Friends getting sick are not fun either. Learning that I really do take things to heart…alot has been an eye opener these past few months. I am really going to learn to take myself out of my job more with this job. THough I love it and I love that we are doing the Lord’s work. Though me and my “live it don’t spill it” mentality to my faith are being tested a bit. especially when asked to pray with a random stranger over the phone for their stray dog to eat. Yes, that did happen. I am not a very open prayer person anyway – I love singing grace with scouts, not saying grace. Anyway about this week and my rainbows….

So…It all centers on Valentines day and in the bigger picture unrealistic expectations. So the big day comes. I actually had already given Darin a small valentine. I felt prepared. Melody’s were done for school Meredith had done hers and remembered all but one classmate – there is always one right? I got Meredith to school and then headed for Walmart as I realized that I had not included anything for Melody’s teachers. or the folks in the office. I had a nice though brief trip through picking out my favorite bags of truffles and a basket thing to display in. I wrote them a really sweet message about taking a second and savoring the sweetness and knowing that they are loved and appreciated. Took that to Daycare and headed to work. Everyone is diabetic at my office I think. No one took a truffle until that afternoon which meant I ate several in the meantime. Oh well. I got Meredith from school and we had to rush by the house to grab her books for piano. she couldn’t remember where they were and i didn’t find them. Oh well. Spoke to Darin about cooking this big Lasagna that I had frozen. it would take nearly 2 hours so he could get it started while we were pianoing I’ll grab the baby and be home. After some explaining I think he understood. ANd off we went, without our books for piano.

I left mere inpiano while I ran over to the office to print out the prayer list for intercessory that night.(which reminds me I need to do that for this week). When I walked back over I was met at the door by the piano teacher. dum da dum! She had played one thing then said her hands were tired, then began to itch everywhere. yeah what a wash. this from the child who wakes up with ” it’s Piano lessons today!” coming out of her lips. ugh. So I do the parent thing – we find another piano at church to go and have our own little lesson at. fail. I have a very strongwilled child and I was running out of time (and was hungry too) I began to get excited about this Lasagna waiting for me. Thinking bout the salad stuff that had come with it and the rolls or garlic texas toast we could have with it and wondering if we had a bottle of something special stashed somewhere since hey it was valentines after all. So off we went to get Melody. With Meredith informing me how much she did not want to eat lasagna.(what is wrong with this child??) We get home to find that there is still an hour left of cooking time…at least… So I tell my tummy to slow down and chill out and try hard not to snack through out the time and keep mere from snacking too.

Ahh atlast it is getting close. Darin had a plan in mind to get it and the rolls done close to together so I follwed his instructions. Except when I went to remove the precious lasagna there was no clear horizontal surface upon which to put it. So I had to place it on top of its box on top of another pan just incase it was hot enough to melt. Little Miss Attitude walked and proceded to say something that I walked across the room to correct her about then…


Yep, my precious lasagna destined for my Very hungry tummy had landed on the floor.

Yep folks it was on then. I let it out. there were boxes flying, feet stomping, yelling and crying. It was just too much. I think I really just got so down about the piano and tried so hard to be up with the food – and I was very hungry (neglected to tell you that I had eaten about 6 truffles 6 cookies (small chips ahoy size) and one and a half chicken strips that day) I thought about eating the food right from the floor, but I was still too mad. I eventually did as Darin always suggests – I went for a drive. I ended up at Sonic where I ordered my dinner – no one elses. I sat there at sonic for nearly an hour eating and playing my Ipod. I then went and got Darin some dinner and brought it home to him. some valentines right?

So where is the rainbow? Well In case you missed it I had not yet received my present from Darin. He told me what I got on Friday. or was it Thursday? anyway…

Meredith is out of school for Monday and Tuesday so both of the girls have been graciously taken by my mother to go hang out with her. I Love You Mom!

Tommorrow morning at 10 am I will present myself at the local medical spa for a mani, a pedi, a facial, and A HAIRCUT! I cannot wait. I have no idea what I want to do to my hair except we are cutting and donating. I think I am at my longest ever judging by how much I can grab with my hands. My hair has not been cut I think in a year at least possibly two.

Ahhh the beautiful thoughtful rainbows provided by those you love.

Thank you Darin Ellett, I love you!

Where your Treasure is…

Ok, so I have spent much of my life working with children – mostly girls –  in the out-of-doors.  I have come to learn that the most important thing we can be sure to provide for others along our road in life is life experiences. Not just normal ones, special, different, unique ones. You know those true treasures and memories that stay in you heart. Those that moths and rust cannot destroy and thieves cannot break in and steal. I had some great ones some at camp ( bird built a nest in my bag over the weekend, rain during camp outs, long hikes, “don’t pick that flower it might be the only one alive!” Looking at thunderstorms approaching from a mesa in Wyoming) and some were not from camp (exercises in Pecanland mall at 2 am in front of Dillards, Sleeping churches on our way to Savannah and to Wyoming, Father daughter Dinner, concerts and other performances, band trips). Sorry I had to work to think of non camp ones. I didn’t even include my memories from Church camp and 4-H camp!

So here is what I am driving to: Currently most all of my most beloved campgrounds are in danger of closing. I am trying very hard to be fair about it and recognizing the deficiencies each site has and the monetary issues with keeping all of them, and the lack of people of today getting out and camping with their kids, and a hundred other variables. I recognize that the powers that be have a very difficult job ahead of them. My personal choice would be for them to get to work raising the funds to support and the interest for people to go and use our campgrounds. Then you do not have to make that choice. You choose to provide more opportunities to you constituants and not just opportunities with more people. Often the beauty of the out of doors is best found in a small group.

Anyway I found this blog and organization that looks pretty interesting. I admit I haven’t read through it a ton, but their whole premise is how camp is good for kids – regardless of what type of camp it is. And they work and raise money to save camps for kids. Check it out, like it if that is your thing, support it if that is you thing, but most of all be informed about how we are changing our future childhoods all in the name of money mostly.


Trying things out

Well as I work to pull myself out of being unemployed I have found I should really increase my technology use. So I randomly got invited here and had to sign up for an account to view the one I wanted so whatever it is just another password right?
Do you ever feel you have just too many different things you have signed up for? My email box is full of daily emails from places. I can’t bear to delete them all. Some are easy – Tech Republic can have some interesting articles on cutting edge stuff, but I promise if the subject doesn’t sound like something I need to know – it goes to the trash. I also have a post from Louisiana Recovery which is supposed to give me a listing of jobs available in the recovery school district. yep i have been getting it for well over a year and have NEVER, I mean NEVER seen any jobs listed on that mailout. Though I have seen Recovery School District list jobs in other locations. Then there is Coldwater Creek (but I love their clothes – I can’t afford them – they might have a great sale) World Market (Cool stuff – an hour and a half away- can shop online – no money, silly!), Foundry, One KingsLane, Zulilly, those are easy to delete. Just say you do not have money or time to see what is on there and click delete.
They hard ones to delete I think are rooted in the fact that they originally came from/ could be stored in books. I am speaking of the daily recipe emails, folks. Few of those do I feel that I just delete forever. Though I am happy in just moving them all to a folder for later. As much as I see things I like and want to cook, often if I am looking for a recipe I don’t go search my email I just google it! Which reminds me of that belief that the internet is dumbing us because we do not memorize/remember anything, we just go look it up again.
Well there are my random bloggings for today. Maybe I will ponder on something better the next time rather than my full inbox!

when is it?

July 2018
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Oldy but goody