You are right where God wants you…Or so I keep telling myself

I know it is true, but somedays it is really tough. When I look back on this time I will understand that I had to go through this part in order for me to get to that part, but it does not make it stink any less now.

So last week was a bit of a doozey for us. Really only 1 really bad thing happened to us (sort of 2, but technically one). So one Tuesday the hubs finally got the word from the boss about his job. His position was to be terminated at the end of the year. Sucks. But OK we have time. I was plotting scrimping through Christmas in preparation for being on 1 income come the beginning of 2014. To clarify, Hubs works for the Small Business Development Center. Funded partially by the university that “houses” them and partially by the State. The state is cutting things. The universities cut last year and we survived that. So on Tuesday we had several months notice for this inevitability. 

On Wednesday he worked in the neighboring metropolis at a “satellite office” All seemed fine.

On Thursday I got a fb message that said there had been a change and he was to be laid off effective the end of THIS month. less than 2 weeks away! Really??!!??

I have to hand it to my hubs though, we have lost several jobs through our 12 years together I think he is taking this one much better than all the others. Then again most of the other times it was “you are gone today”. That sounds like he is a horrible worker. On the contrary he is a very diligent worker. A little messy or disorganized appearing, but diligent and sure of himself. He always works with the customer in mind. That has often been the downfall of both of us… “screw the rules, let’s do what is right for the customer” This time I guess it is being easier cause He knows he is not getting blamed for anything that was not his deal and he was not blindsided. This stuff has been openly discussed that cuts are coming – who knows what – who knows if SBDC will even be here anymore, etc.

That and his boss has sort of received a demotion a well. THat makes a person feel better.

I on the other hand, as you might can tell by the tone, am NOT taking it so well. I think I subconciously did not seek out a babysitter Saturday so that we could both attend his secretary’s retirement celebration. I am just not sure how comfortable I would feel, when I just want to wring their necks or something. Why? because this opens back up the job search which means he is sending out resumes and activly seeking jobs in his hometown which is 2 hrs away from here. I want to move out of our crappy house – but not to another city! 

I have found several organizations that I like and am important in. the oldest daughter is just in 2nd grade and is forming those tight bonds with little boys and stuff, the youngest is at a fabulous daycare and I am friends with many of her teachers on fb. I have a rewarding albeit exhausting job that pays pretty well considering it is for a church. We own our house – it is a piece of crap now, but we own it.

I feel like I want to just be a toddler and lay down and throw a tantrum. but  I can’t. I am the mommy, I need to be supportive. So I think he has gotten the idea that I really do not want to move. He remembers a previous stipulation about must have a salary greater than our current combined salaries. That really would not be that hard given that he has been part time ( good rate though) and I work for a church. It has really got to be worth it to move. REALLY.

So now I sit back and ask myself “If I really am right where God wants me… Then what in the world am I supposed to be gaining here? who am I supposed to be helping?”

I have not come up with the answer yet – and probably will not until we come out on the other side and I can ponder things more.s So anyway whenever things get tough or crazy think your way through that one and see if you can figure out just what the point of this particular crisis is. I find it helps me focus on the things that do matter.

See you on the flip-side!


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when is it?

September 2013
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Oldy but goody

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